cat in box

Sinus … um … Helpful Measures

By | Health | No Comments

So I’ve been having problems with my sinuses today, right after bragging to someone that I was sinus problem free since surgery in 2015….

So I’ve come up with some of my own …. I can’t call them remedies … helpful measures for all that liquid.

1. The Soaker Upper. You can use one or two, depending on the flow. :P

The fluid soaker upper

 

2. The Blower Soaker. This ensures that you will never be caught mid-flow.

 

The Blower Soaker

 

3. The Catcher. Ne’er a drop to be seen. This is my personal favorite, but I’m going to have to find someone to make them in nasal sizes and then sell them to the SharkTank crowd so I can buy them at Tarjay.

The Catcher

 

4. The Recreational Pick-A-Piece. Psychoanalyze your sinuses. (And it’s pick-a-piece of paper towel, not your nose. Lawd knows that here’s nothing left in there after all that blowing.)

The Recreational Pick-A-Piece

 

Here are some ink blot ideas to get you started on your quest for nasal-discovery. Feel free to do the same thing with what appears on your pillow case in the morning.

 

5. The Electric Drill. There’s always the option of making a little money with all this snorting. My other half said it sounded like an electric drill when I tried to breath in though my nose, so I’m going to see if one of those audio book agencies might be interested in hiring me. Any takers?

The Electric Drill

Bear

And We Let Him Go

By | Creative writing | No Comments

It’s just past daybreak and my husband is calling my name.

“Bear fell down in the yard and he can’t get up. I need help getting him back inside.”

Bear should be our six-year-old 105lb Lab/Pyrenees mix. Now he only weighs 75lb. His skin has turned yellower with each day that his liver cancer has marched on in conquest. His eyes have lost their zest. His heart for living has disappeared.

I throw on my dressing-gown, fighting against the sleeves which want me to stop pushing them back to normal, and together we walk out into the early morning. Five a.m. on any other morning in Texas is a welcoming time of day. The birds are stretching, the air doesn’t stick to the skin; all is calm. But not today. Today my dog lies helplessly in the far corner of the yard, and his dejected eyes follow us to his side. I wrap my arms under his belly and my husband holds up the rear. We daren’t see if his legs will hold, so we carry him across the grass, through the sliding door, up the steps, and into the living room. While he has been sleeping with us at night, we want him to lie on the rug rather than the hard wood floor. My husband lays a sheet on the floor beside him and prepares to sleep with him once more.

Minutes later I hear the familiar sound of Bear, my white-haired beast, walking into the bedroom and lying down by the bed. Even this close to death, he strives to be near us both. He circles and circles, afraid to start sitting in case he collapses. My husband leans forward to support him.

***

We took him to the vet a few weeks ago. He was too thin and had gone off his food. An ultrasound told us that there were shadows on his spleen and it looked like the cancer was moving toward his liver. Would we like her to do an aspirate to confirm her suspicions? We’d already put too much on a card we shouldn’t have used. We took him home, not knowing when we would have to say goodbye.

And then he began to eat again! We cooked him grass-fed beef and pasture-raised chicken. We made meals with organic rice and fried eggs. We took him for small walks at any time of day he wanted to go. We sat on the floor with him just to keep him company. We told him he was loved.

***

And now it’s eight a.m. and Gerry is calling my name again.

“It’s time. We have to let him go. I don’t think he has much longer. Will you call the mobile vet?”

And I’m sitting in front of the laptop. I’ve left four messages and spoken with two receptionists. No one has time.

Until …

Until my call is answered by a woman I will be forever grateful to.

“Are you booked up today?” I ask.

“Yes, we are.” My spark of hope flickers once more. “What’s going on?” she asks.

She cares. She actually cares about my reason for calling.

“It’s our dog. He’s dying, and I think we need to…

My voice chokes up for a second.

“Where do you live?”

“We’re about twenty minutes away, but none of the closer places would see us.”

“Bring him in. We’ll take a look at him as soon as you get here.”

***

It’s so quiet in the car. Four adults now—two were teenagers when he joined our lives.

We back up to the front door of the clinic and have to get a stretcher to carry him in.

And now here we are on the floor of a room set up to simulate a living room specifically for this time. The vet has explained exactly what she will do. The IV line is already in. We have as long as we want to say goodbye.

And we stroke the long white hair that drove us crazy one last time. And we kiss him and flatten our hands up against his warm body, feeling the shallow in and out of his struggling lungs and wishing our love could change reality.

And we look into each other’s faces and silently agree. It’s time.

And we let him go.

And Up the Hill to Dinner

By | Creative writing, Writing | No Comments

I’m racing down the gravelly hill of our home, out through the gate and on past the blackberry bushes and the crumbling stone wall and the white church crooked into the elbow of the country road. And on we run, my brother and sisters, turning a sharp left into the driveway of the old country home that has seen many children like us through its broken spectacles.

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Sporadic Moments

By | Creative writing | 2 Comments

I sit in this quiet chair in this quiet house alone. Not completely alone—the dog lies to my left, right ear splayed out on the shaggy carpet, his breathing restful. A persistent hum surrounds us both like the gentle song a nursing mother sings over her breastfeeding child. The wind of a passing car swishes by on the street outside. A dog barks sporadically in the distant distance.

The refrigerator starts its funny jiggle and the dog lifts his head to ensure our safety, only to rest it again.

I’m not accustomed to such peace, such quietness, such solitude. But right now … right now it feeds my soul.

Writers and Hoarders

By | Mind at Work | One Comment

The writer’s life usually consists of coffee rings and papers strewn over every visible area of free space. It’s not that we’re a messy lot; we know where everything is, but we just don’t feel like filing it all away. Writers and hoarders….

But today …

Today I went ahead and started to file.

It’s not that I felt like doing it; the piles just got too high and things were starting to fall onto the dog-haired carpet.

As writers, we work kind of the same way with words. We write when we feel like it, and then when the words inside us start to spill over we make ourselves sit down and organize all those thoughts into neat little stories so that we can clear some space for more thoughts. That way we can fool ourselves into thinking that we are not up for the next Woarders show …

You heard me: Writing + hoarders. Woarders. I’m a genius. 

Tell all your friends this was my idea so that when Hollywood calls me to talk about my new reality show, I can send you all flowers. Remember, as the cliché goes, you heard it from me first.

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Win Free Stuff for Your Biz

By | Interesting stuff | No Comments

I love FREE. Okay, so this way you have to enter and hope for the best, but who knows … ?

Bring your favorite employee to lunch.

Residents of New York City and the surrounding area are invited to enter to win a $200 gift card to Southern Hospitality BBQ in Hell’s Kitchen, NYC. Visit the Facebook Fan Page for The Suites at Silver Towers to enter! Must live in the New York City metro area to win.

Who doesn’t drink coffee?

 Education related questions and help others who are also seeking college education. Approved answers will receive your choice of a FREE $10 Starbucks or Amazon eGift card or a $10 donation to charity.

The whole shebang — perfect for the start-up.

 Easy WebContent, the online website tool system that allows you to take control of your web presence, is giving away a customized website with a full year of hosting to one lucky Nonprofit. The winning Nonprofit will have the exclusive opportunity to work with the head Creative Designer of Easy WebContent and receive the complete version of the Easy WebContent Site Builder  free of charge. Register your Nonprofit for the Giving Back giveaway on April 27, 2012.

Ideal for nonprofits, startups, and small businesses, the Easy WebContent Site Builder lets all types of organizations to create exceptional website on any browser in any city in the world. It lets users take absolute control in creating their website using the extremely easy to use interface, selection from the variety of flexible themes, and utilizing thousands of free assets.

 

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Create more Income Streams

By | Business advice | No Comments
 
These days, making money is all about strategy, and part of that strategy needs to include the possibility that you won’t always be ready and willing to work. An accident, a family tragedy, a sick child, an ailing parent — anything can upset the carefully planned schedule. Enter the multiple income streams strategy.

Income stream: The flow of money generated by a business. ~ www.investorwords.com

Let’s say your business (like mine) is a service to both businesses and solo entrepreneurs. How can you monetize all that you bring to the table? How can you spread your knowledge and expertise?

 

Cover for the Business Strategy Wikibook.

Cover for the Business Strategy Wikibook. (Wikipedia)

Keep in mind that the goal is to have both active and passive income, and that the passive income will need to keep coming when you are inactive. Here are some suggestions:

Services
Your particular service
Consulting
Public/workshop/conference speaking

Products
E-books with your advice
Printed books/curriculum/workbooks
Live webinars — one-topic classes
Video courses — accessible by paid, private link
Private video series that requires the purchase of your workbook

Affiliates
Affiliate links
Affiliate programs

Sponsors
Advertisement buttons on your website

IMPORTANT
*Anything you do should keep you in your niche and support your overall vision for your business. You don’t want people to come to your site to read about copywriting and start getting lost in your family vacation pics.

*Everything you offer needs to benefit the consumer.

In order to come up with your own list of sellable items, ask yourself

“What do I have that people value, and how can I make that easily available?”

 

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Terrible Limericks

By | Creative writing | No Comments

We had to write limericks in English class many moons ago, but sometimes I still like to write the odd nonsensical poem …  just to keep it real and not let my brilliance go to my head. ;)

According to Wikipedia, “The origin of the name limerick for this type of poem is debated. As of several years ago, its usage was first documented in England in 1898 (New English Dictionary) and in America in 1902, but in recent years several earlier uses have been documented. The name is generally taken to be a reference to the City or County of Limerick in Ireland

“The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth usually rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables.”

Gate and rhyming sign

Gate and rhyming sign (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Below are two horrible examples.

 A writer of copy from Ireland
Whose last name could not have been Moreland
Hooked up to the Web
And her words became lead
No longer they draped like a garland.

 An editor by name of Sally
Grew up in a green verdant valley
She liked to correct
All words, they were checked.
That editor Sally, so pally.

 Send me your own. I will edit one sentence, for free, for the winner. ;)

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